We have a bad excuse counter around the office, and I'm dead serious. Everytime my boss hears a bad excuse from one of us, click! And in a newspaper department chock full of snaky necktie-wearing salesman, well, you can sure bet the little gizmo racks up some big numbers without much arm twisting. Click, click... Click!

This entry--which will roughly outline what I've been doing instead of bloggin'--is a goldmine of excuses to any one else pocketing a bad excuse counter.

What have I been doing? Well, I was just disappeared into Knoxville, TN for a 3 day bender over the weekend for starters. I also (cue angelic chorus) finally got my laptop repaired at home. And I've been on this mission to get back into shape (the ladies haven't been callin as much, ya know?) and re-align with some long lost friends. Not to mention, I've been digging up old records (MxPx, Bryan Adams oh yes oh yes Bryan Adams, Zeppelin, early Beck, Metllalica, Sound Garden, etc) and buying all the used $3 CD's I can find (Songs from the Movies of Clint Eastwood, Jesus Jones, Nirvana, Ben Folds, Nouvelle Vague, etc).

Yes my friends, we have crossed into the mid-summer crisis. It happens every year. July rolls around and I suddenly get hungry. I want to read books. I want to write books. I want to make mixes for all my friends. I want to not sleep till noon. Can you believe it!? Get up in the AM WITHOUT AN ALARM! I want to learn every inch of every Tom Waits record. Every cowbell tink and every gruff gravely lyric. I should learn to play piano. Or heck, I should go out on the street with my moroccos and just start shaking it. I should get a pair of mocassins. And wear my fedora more! I want to get my hair cut. I want to grow it out. Should I grow the beard back? I want to re-organize my entire music collection. I want to put new posters on my wall. I want to move out! I want to hang out with my family. I want to meet new people! I want to become a barfly. I want to go to Belgium. Or Australia! I heard Greenland is nice this time of year! But what about Africa! I should go do some mission work. But who's going to mow the grass at home? Wait, when do I even mow the grass? I don't, dad does. But I should! But I hope he doesn't wash my car while he's not mowing the grass, because I wanna do that too. I want to run for president! I'm not old enough. Maybe I should just run. Like run around the track run. I haven't done that since high school! Hey, I should get older! Right now! Although, I guess I am getting older with every word I type, but...not old enough! I should invent something new. Something to make you get older quicker. But not too old, ya know? But I like being young. In fact, I want to be younger. But oh, with the wisdom I have now! I want to see some new movies! Indie ones and silent ones and black and white ones! But I don't want to stay home tonight. No sir! I did that all winter! Time's a wastin, buster! Get out there, get grinding, get chompin, get taking over the world! You should be dancing! But when am I going to do all this personal stuff at home?! WTF! I need to make more me's! I should be everywhere doing everything! I should be holding hands with someone. I should be in love. I should apologize to the people I never apologized to. Just call them up, out of the blue. "Hey, I know we haven't spoken since the 7th grade, but..." I should make dinner tonight! Why don't I eat salads? Should I start? Why not?! Leaves are pretty natural right? Duh! I should go skydiving. And scuba diving! But not in the Schuylkill River, ew. But why not? I bet no one else does. I wish I was better at everything I do. I should work on everything I do right now and get better at it right now. I wonder what's going on in New York City, right now? All kinds of things I bet! I should go! Suck it all in, one big deep breath of neon city! Fill your lungs up with all that life and bustle and hustle. Ah, the city. Somewhere else! I should be there-all the somewhere else's that exist right now. That's where I want to be. But I'm here... Whoa, solemn Stanley! Pick your head up! There is still so much frontier here! Go conquer it. Go cut it up! Or no, hold your wild horsies partner. I should bring it all here, pull all the waves to me like I'm the center of the ocean. I am the capital! I want all my friends right here, every night. We can have a campfire up in the woods every night. We all hang out, play music and talk. Trade war stories. Play spin the bottle. Drink wine. Drink beer. Whatever! Our own beautiful spot at the top of the world. Oh, how we'd glow. I want to be part of the light. I want to be part of the light. I want to be part of the light.

That's why I haven't been blogging. But I should blog more! I think I will.. but I want to do this and that. So who knows. I should stop making excuses! That would be a great thing to do this summer.