Reunion? Well, maybe not. But who cares, lets assume the worst!

You know what's become the biggest money maker of the 21st century? Well, besides Steve Jobs. Nostalgia! It's hotter than a Britney Spears meltdown. Well, maybe not QUITE that hot, but it's way up there in Fahrenheit.

Legendary bands that were once at each other's throats get back together for multi-million dollar offers, and sell out stadiums around the world to generations past itching to nab a big stinking whif of the old days.

We've already heard the hype about Led Zeppelin and The Jackson 5 returning to the fold. But now it's just getting weird. New Kids On The Block want to hang tough, again? Even though they're all teetering around the age of 40. Donny, Joey, Jordan, and oh, forget it. They aren't NEW. Nor are they KIDS. And I could care less if they're on any BLOCK. Even if they did sell 50 millions records in about 5 years. They're totally the reason us whipper snappers wanted to hear all that heavy and angry music later in the 90s. So you can blame heinous crap like Limp Bizkit on "Hangin' Tough" and "Please Don't Go Girl." They were like 5 young Ben Afflecks singing lame ballads that were rejected by 80's hair bands.

But yeah, sure, I saw them in concert. I'll admit it. I was like 6 years old and bored of Legos, what do you expect? It was the thing to do then! We all did it. Even The Mercury's top shelf photographer, John Strickler!

It was quite an event actually. My family, Strickler's family, and some other friends all spent a luxurious evening together, venturing to see the New Kids together in a limo. Of course, I slept through about 1/3 of the show, while John stood on his feet singing the words to every song, all night long. At least, that's how I remember it, memory might have skewed me a bit.

But both John and I have moved on to bigger and better things. New Kids? Bah, we don't wanna see that. Unless of course, you're willing to give us a limo ride. We'd probably accept under such dire circumstances.

Heath Ledger died one week ago today, at the age of 28. While he didn't leave a wealth of work behind for us to pour over and help fuel our inevitable "what if.." questions, he left enough greats to get his own Top 5 Tuesday. So here are the five must sees from Ledger's career. (Oh, that's funny, I don't see Brokeback anywhere? Wierd.)

5. Skip Engblom in Lords of Dogtown
Written by Stacey Peralta himself. Ledger leads a pack of youngsters, looking to change the world with their skateboards, one kickflip at a time. It puts the 'roll' in rock and roll, dude.

4. Dan in Candy
So you got this 3-act Australian film about a poet (Ledger) who falls in love with a student, and next thing you know, they're shooting heroine together in the midst of their young wild romance, and it quite easily propels into one of those explosive Sid and Nancy love stories. And then you add Geoffrey Rush to the cast? I'll take this Candy from a stranger any day. (You get indie film cred points for knowing this one too.)

3. Patrick Verona in 10 Things I Hate About You
Every 90's high school dramatic comedy needed house parties (check), kegs (check), bodaciously beautiful babes (Julia Stiles? check!), and ensemble casts packed with rising stars (check). But Ledger made this more than every other 90's high school flick. Right before your eyes, the withdrawn badboy unfolds into an aussi-accented romancing charmer. Girls around the world started eating there hearts out right then, as he sung Franki Valli to Julia Styles from the bleachers at soccer practice.

2. Robbie Clark, the bearded actor side of Bob Dylan in I'm Not There
While Cate Blanchet easily nabbed the spotlight by portraying the most famous Dylan era in the only movie with a lot of Bob Dylans, Ledger got to portray one of the more treasured eras--The whole "finding himself again" era, centered around "Blood on the Tracks" where he struggled with divorce, and himself.

1. The Joker in The Dark Knight trailer
The movie doesn't hit theaters to July, but the tiny bits of Ledger we've seen as the chaotic face-painted bazooka-wielding anarchist have already chalked up as one of the greatest roles we've seen in ages. In other words, this trailer is better than most movies, and Ledger's psychotic turn as one of the most lauded villains of all time is exactly why.

Well, the floodgates are wide open now.. Once the Ackbar starts (see last post) the Ackbar don't stop. So here's some more of our favorite Admiral for your pleasure.

Like most other Star Wars stars, Admiral Ackbar has had quite a life since getting airtime in the greatest trilogy of all time. Mark Hamill became a voice actor, Harrison Ford became Blade Runner, Indiana Jones, and... Henry in Regarding Henry? James Earl Jones became the Bell Atlantic guy. Yoda retired to George Henson's workshop. But I don't think has had quite the life Ackbar has post Star Wars. Check out what he's been up to besides getting his own cereal since the fall of the Empire.

First, he moved to Mexico and learned Spanish. El Ackbarro!












Then, he became a devout Muslim and changed his name to Allah Ackbar.










But after some time spent living on the fringe and very much out of the public eye, save for a public scuffle with Mike Tyson, he returned to society and teamed up with Steve Jobs at Apple and together they unveiled their genius invention of the iTrap.









Then, after tiring of the business world, he was drafted into the NFL and became an all star quarterback for the Oilers. Warren Ackbar! He became well known for always knowing when the defense was gonna blitz. "It's a trap!"







Then after retiring, as we all know, came his bid for president, where he lost by a hair to George W. Bush.











Which brings us to now. He recently got back into acting after his defeat at the presidential polls. He dies in Saw IV. Although, some speculate he has taken over as the new Jigsaw in the puzzling horror series. Only time will tell.

You wouldn't be safe spending a day here in Scene & Heard HQ where most conversations are laced with indistinguishable lines cribbed from Samuel L. Jackson or the Stars Wars episode of Robot Chicken, and Lord knows what else. Lately, we're a little tripped up on Admiral Ackbar. It's a trap!



and of course, here is the source of our compulsion.

Have you ever read a film review where the reviewer at hand calls the movie in question "one wild ride?" Of course you have, because it's the industrialized go-to line in any action flick when a critic is struggling with deadlines and clever musings.

"I don't know what else to say, so I'll just call it a wild ride." That's like calling a young songwriter the next Dylan. Maybe worse.

Well, believe me when I say Cloverfield IS one helluva ride. And it's not a ride the way a Tom Cruise-ified summer blockbuster is. It's a ride the way a roller coaster is. There just isn't any other way to put it. Blair Witch Project with Godzilla and some explosions? Eh, kinda true, but that's like comparing an expensive bottle of merlot to boxed white zinfadel. Corkscrew please?

I ventured to the theatres on Thursday evening with The Mercury's finest selection of entertainment junkies and esteemed colleagues, and I believe I speak for all 6 of us when I say that as soon as we walked out the door of the theatre, we found ourselves urged to dart back to the ticket booth, and get right back on and ride Cloverfield again. It was intense, mystifying and a lovely 90 minutes of sensory overload. We didn't even go back for a refill of popcorn during the screening.

What can you say bad about the movie? Well, you might complain about the shaky camera syndrome it suffers from, but realize that you're complaining about how much of a baby you are, and not the movie at all. The presenation of it is exactly where the magic of this film is. Because seriously, are monster movies believable anymore? Crap no! But when you add the life-likeness of a YouTube video to it, you've just made a monster-movie more than a simple novelty. Maybe that's why the Godzilla and King Kong revamps where, like, way stupid. (I'm sure someone called them action packed thrill-rides too.)

But camera angles aside, it was also impossible to sit through and not sink beneath the film's explosive action sheen and swim around in it's deeper implications, whether they are intentional or not. JJ Abrams has no doubt stirred up peoples emotions and memories of 9/11 in the past with his work on Alias and Lost, but this New York monster movie walks straight into the center of that fire, as opposed to just pointing at it. This baby picks it up and plays with it.

You see burning flames and clouds of dust, major New York City landmarks collapsing to rubble, utter chaos and complete terror. You hear the screaming and crying. It's a nightmare, and absolutely unbelievable, yet in your face and believably happening. Just not really. And that's how we all felt when we saw the news on September 11, 2001.

People would have laughed at the notion of 9-11 before then. Some foreign dudes hijacking planes? And commandeering them straight into the Twin Towers? And collapsing them onto a surprised New York City? Ha! Not in America! We're a bullet proof vest! Well, obviously, the unthinkable became horrific reality.

Now we got a huge and vicious bomb-repelling monster crawling out of the Hudson and snapping Manhattan into pieces of cinderblock and posterboard? Well, this movie makes the absurd seem and feel as real as it could possibly be. You can't watch this movie and not think of September 11, nor can you not think about if JJ Abrams thought about it even more.

Cloverfield is much more than a monster movie, and works on many many levels. While all of you are wondering where the monster came from and moaning about the camera quality, I sat in the theatre wondering if we aren't shown the monster in full exclusive view for a more distinct reason. What does the Cloverfield monster represent in this post 9-11 world? Terrorists? Foreign wars? Underage sex? Cocaine? Pills? The New England Patriots? Hillary Clinton? Carrot Top? Reality TV?

Maybe we aren't shown the monster in full, because Abrams and writer Drew Goddard don't know what the monster represents to them either. Maybe they tried to illustrate to us that the real monster attacking America today is ourselves, in all our confused and cluttered chaos. We're all LOOKING for a monster, labeling everything a monster. Pointing blame, and writing prescriptions for every problem we have in facing society. Everything is wrong with everyone if you talk to enough people today. It's a monster you can't see in full view, but it's bringing down buildings and eating your children and friends and family. Maybe that's why the movie does little to reveal where the monster came from, why it's attacking us, or what it even truly looks like. Because honestly, when you're being attacked by a monster, does any of that matter? Are you going to go to online message boards and wax intellect on it when it's outside on your street?

Which brings me to another point. Maybe the monster was so aggressive and anti-us because, well, we dropped bombs all over his ugly face? Our armed forces went right to war with it. No one said, "yo dude, welcome to America." All these years, and we still discriminate and stereotype. We see a big ugly green thing with rabid lice jumping off its legs and we think "THIS MONSTER IS GOING TO EAT US!" I suppose he started it by decapitating Lady Liberty, but...I think we all know to not kick the school bully in the shins for taking your lunch money. Just sleep with his girlfriend and call it even, but don't draw the battle lines in a battle you know you aren't going to win.

Minutes into the movie, Bill (of Scene & Heard film junkie fame) commented that I was like the lead protaganist, Michael. At first, I was like, riiiight, except the part that I'm not off to Japan, nor am I breaking up with some way-too-gorgeous babe. But as the movie goes on, perhaps I did fit into the character a bit more. Of the whole group, he cares least about the monster. He's more frightened about what the monster's destruction of the city is doing to his friends, his family, and to that special girl he's all tangled up in love with even though she's already found another dude (been there, done that, got the t-shirt). He isn't scared of the monster, nor does he want to fight it. He just wants to find what he loves, embrace it, and get far away from what ever may harm that, no matter the risks involved. I guess that kind of is me. And I guess that makes the monster like regular everyday life in contemporary America. There's always something that might devour us at any moments notice, though not literally.

Let's stop fighting it, and trying to see it in the broad day light. Let's stop complaining about how shaky it is. And let's start high fiving JJ Abrams! Because this movie is the sort of thing I'll be thinking about when I vote next November. It's what I'll be thinking about when I go to the doctor's office. It's what I'll be thinking about at night when I'm listening to records. It's what I'll be thinking about when I meet new people in bars, at parties, and at work. It's one of those rare movies that is about something absurd and unrealistic that makes you weigh in on those things that couldn't be more real in your real life. It's movies like this that make me want to write about things in entertainment, because they take unordinary events and make some of us see how extraordinary real life really, truly is.

Oh, and if you would care to see the monster, here it is. Terrifying.

Well, by now we all are well aware of the unfortunate passing of Heath Ledger.

When the news first trickled into The Mercury hours after his body was discovered, I wasn't exactly sure how to react. Our own media-savvy Kim Toth darted out from her desk in ad services to tell everyone. As she said the words, some weird sadness washed over me, and I still can't explain why. I kind of slumped in my chair and thought to myself, "Man, we all just lost something."

I would certainly never compare his passing to the magnitude of watching the Twin Towers collapse on television years ago, but it was that same heavy feeling of WTF! It's that sort of thing that grounds you.

I don't know why this has hit me as it has. Maybe I'm just too stoked over his performance as the new Joker in The Dark Knight trailer. I haven't even seem more than 3 minutes of the film and am convinced he's given an incredible and convincing performance. Plus he ruled as Blood On The Tracks-era Bob Dylan in "I'm Not There."

And of course, "10 Things I Hate About You" was the last great teen movie of the 90's.

He's WAY more than just "that cowboy" from Brokeback Mountain. In fact, that's the last flick I think of when I think of Ledger.

But of all the stories and blogs that tinker with whether his passing was suicide, or accident, or etc, this one (from my hero, Josh Horowitz) is the only thing I've really read that reads like a deserving memorial, instead of a gossip or news piece.

I was perusing around on some fellow blogs and came across a post that compared Fight Club's illustrious Tyler Durden to American Psycho's Patrick Bateman. And my first thought was, which one of these dudes would kick the innards out of the other, and would the results change if they were given chainsaws and dynamite?

So this week, is the week of the fiercest battles to never happen, because they would easily shred the fabric of the universe to scraps, and that would be the end of us all. Screw Alien Vs Predator! That's toddler fodder now. We'll cross parallel universes, and pit savage beasts from different dimensions against one another and offer no mercy. No one is safe! Leave your thoughts on who takes all the chips in the comments.

5. BATTLE OF THE OBLONG HEADS
E.T. Vs. Johnny 5 (the vengeful version from Short-Circuit 2's climax)
--officiated by Super Mario
While both are loveable creatures of the 80s, this is not a fight to miss. Neither one wants to fight, but on the inside, they are pure-bred war machines. ET is an alien, so he obviously wants to eat people. And Johnny was created to be a tactical war machine, hellbent on defeating all enemies in his path. One heals cuts with the touch of his glowing finger, the other has a nuclear cannon on his shoulder. When push comes to shove, this one could be the nastiest fight ever recorded.

4. RUMBLE IN THE BRONX
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Vs. The Cloverfield Monster (officiated by Rudy Guillini circa 2001)
Both hate people, but both want to make loud noises and be responsible for earth crunching explosions. One is a cartoony ghost, one is a wierd ugly thing. Both are crazed lunatics. Evacuate New York now, because Godzilla and Mothra's destruction in Tokyo is gonna look like a child's whimper compared to the havoc that's about to wreaked.

3. THE GREATEST BATTLE OF ALL TIME
Marty McFly & The Doc Vs. Neo & Morpheus Vs. The Wyld Stallyns
TWO Keanu Reaves in one fight? Can you say WHOA? He can! You know it's gonna get nasty. Even tho Neo and Morpheus are the most skilled fighters here, they can't travel through time like the other 2 tag teams here. The Doc and Marty seem to have the upper hand since they got a flux capacitor, quick wits, a talented guitarist, and a wild-eyed scientist in tow, but Bill & Ted have also outsmarted Satan himself before melvening Death. So the outcome is anyone's guess, and it's likely there will be a few time and actor paradoxes, so we'll all end up ceasing to exist in the end. WICKED!

2. THE FURIOUS BOUT OF THE FURRY ONES
Animal (The Muppet) Vs. The Zombie Sheep (from Black Sheep) (officiated by Mike Tyson)
Essentially this becomes a battle between Jim Henson's workshop and Peter Jackson's workshop. We pit the wild zaney eyed-albeit child friendly-mental institute escapee nut job against sheep that eat people. Hyper-Rabies vs. ADHD. Yikes!

1. HELL ON MIDDLE EARTH
Hillary Clinton Vs. The Dark Lord Sauron (officiated by Eric Cartman of South Park)
One of the front-runners for our next presidential election vs. the Adolf Hitler of Middle Earth. I would never underestimate what either of these creatures are capable of, and would advise everyone to fear the absolute worst with these two glaring into each others eyes. Evil has a new name.

Well, I wouldn't wanna be the only person not gossiping about this today.

I think this is Amy's way of calling Pete Doherty out to the playground for a nice and friendly drug war. First one to not die, wins.

It's amazing to me that 2 of the most incredible musicians alive today (one a poetic laureate with a knack for awesomely dirty garage rock, the other with one of the most fantastic voices to materialize in decades) have become more famous for their drug habits than their tunes. Which should say a great deal about their drug habits.

Don't worry, today's Top 5 will be up later, and I have a good idea for it.

Bear in mind this is my blog and not The Mercury's Promotional Headquarters Soapbox, but since I admire you readers dearly, I wanted to toss you a little bone before the regular public gets their hands on it, as there is a very limited supply (15, to be exact).

If you subscribe to Merc home delivery for 6 weeks ($28.50) by Friday, you'll get 2 complimentary tickets from us to see WWE Smackdown LIVE at the Sovereign Center next Tuesday.

Now, I don't know how you are with math, but that means it's cheaper to get these tickets through us than it is to get tickets directly. So even if you are steadfast against subscribing, but were planning on going to this event...well...I'll let you connect the dots.

Just call 610-970-4500, and ask for the Smackdown Special.
(current subscribers can advance re-new)

It's an utterly cold Monday morning, so let's be blunt today.

Here's a movie that's a bit hard to swallow! To today's teenage boys flooding out of their eye sockets with hormones, there is nothing scarier than falling for a girl who is living out a pledge of chastity. Hence the latest--albeit weirdest--horrorflick to flicker across the big screen, aptly titled "Teeth."

I'll let the movie trailer do most of the talking, but I have to say that the phrase "sex can be a weapon" has never packed more oompth than in this movie.

Wonder if she'll ever have to get her wisdom teeth taken out?

You might think someone who, to this day, has yet to see a full episode of American Idol (like me for instance) has no right talking about what a disgrace it has become over the past 6 years.

But before leaping to such conclusions, sit back and think about it--it makes me the perfect anti-Idol spokesman. Any of the show's former contestants who have crossed over into mainstream enough that they are remembered for more than the show are few and far between. So, someone emotionally removed from the show can truly gauge on whether major season contestants have become real American Idols. Let's plow through the first 6 seasons, and see what's resulted, shall we?

Kelly Clarkson - okay, off to good start. Although have we REALLY cared about her since "Since U Been Gone"? I haven't. Amazing voice though.
Justin Guarini - All I know is he had a cool fro, and disappeared about 4 days after the contest ended.
Ruben Studard - Headlines the other week read "Former Idol gets dropped by record label." And they were about this soulful teddy bear. Before that, I hadn't heard his name in years. Sad.
Clay Aiken - Besides the weird cult of women he's fostered, he gets made fun of a lot and puts out records ripe with soccer mom music. And he had a creepy hit about spying on girls while being invisible. Simon kicked him off season 1 for being ugly. And he lost to Ruben in season 2, btw.
Fantasia Barrino - I've never heard this name in my life. But, somehow, she won season 3?
William Hung - This guy is probably the most well known non-winner of Idol. And it's not like he had any hits. He became more famous than the good singers of Idol by being an awfully bad singer.
Carrie Underwood - Until last year, I didn't even know she WAS an American Idol, and to me, that's the ultimate American Idol--when you can be a star and not be known as "that" star. But she won season 4, and rightfully so.
Bo Bice - He lost to Underwood, but I've heard his name around, and when he was on Idol, friends told me he was the first cool rocker to make it on Idol. Yea, kinda, but he looked more like he belonged in a Lynard Skynard cover band playing in a small bars in Iowa than 'cool'.
Taylor Hicks - I think most people laugh when his name comes up. Yeah, and he doesn't have a record deal anymore either. Good riddance, Hickster.
Chris Daughtry - Ah, Daughtry. Didn't stand a chance against Hicks, yet he's one of the best sellers of all the Idols yet. Hasn't impressed me any, but some of his songs on the radio were a bit catchy. Makes you wonder what Idol judges were thinking, picking The Hickman over this dude.
Jordin Sparks - Youngest Idol winner ever at 17, I know that. So she's still to young and fresh to write off, but... I got nothing special to say about her either.
Sanjaya - Then there was this guy who looked like the lost third member of Milli Vanilli and got Idol some extra attention for being absolutely terrible, ala William Hung. And did you see those eyebrows? Wow.

So besides Clarkson, Underwood, and Daughtry, Idol has given the music business a treasure chest of bad jokes, and that's about it. It's like the new concise way to have become an 80's one-hit wonder in the 21st century, without the hit.

Think about it. Do you watch American Idol because you're a music connoisseur? Or for the comedy of the first few episodes where people try to get TV time for being awful instead of incredible singers. Exactly what I thought. So what's the point after so many seasons? Eventually, it all becomes the same thing--Bad singers trying to sing bad and Simon Cowell telling them they suck. The buzz has worn off America. It's time for Idol to go.

Let's talk about Chris March.

No, no, not me. I mean the large effeminate designer who wears loud clashing clothing and gets kicked off reality shows and then somehow weasels his way back in. Yeah, THAT Chris March.

I swear, not a day goes by where I don't get a "Hey! I saw you on TV last night" or a "did you know you're on television?" And I get emails from my old school pals alerting me to his recent accomplishments on the show. It doesn't help that fans of Project Runway have fallen in love with him.

Listen folks. I get it. We got the same name. But you won't catch me dead in a gutter with a leopard print jacket on or a pink scarf around my neck. I haven't impressed Sarah Jessica Parker once in my life. No one refers to me as the "dragtastic" Chris March either. Unless of course, they think they're funny, which they wouldn't be. Nor have I ever been dressed as an obese Wonder Woman.

The day he starts listening to obscure indie music, circulating Dylan bootlegs among his friends, becomes a little blond dude with a beard, and gets a job writing about other Chris Marchs at The Mercury... that's the day you can compare us.

Until then, my response to those who ask "Why don't you change your name," my disgruntled reply will be cribbed from the infamous Michael Bolton bit on Office Space---WHY SHOULD I CHANGE MY NAME?! HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!!

Well, Marvel comics uprooted the hearts of comic book nerds all over the world recently by wiping away Spiderman's marriage to Mary Jane Watson.

Even though Parker and the love of his life never married in the trilogy of blockbuster movies, they have been married in the ongoing comic books since tieing the knot in 1989. That is, until the recent issue, #545, when their marriage was wiped from the slate--and not from divorce, but from the demon lord, Mephisto.

But if you ask me, all the upheaval and complaining about this turn in the storyline is totally stupid and selfish, unlike the choice Pete and MJ make in the issue. Fanboys are making it sound like Marvel just up and forgot they were married. No sir! It's a great turn in the Spidey saga. Mary Jane and the Webbed Crusader make a pact with Mephisto to save Aunt May's life. But to save her life, they have to agree to allow Mephisto to wipe all memory of their relationship from their minds. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind much?

I say it's the perfect illustration of love AND heroism. It shows complete selflessness on Pete and MJ's side. And besides, it's PETE AND MARY JANE WATSON. He's obviously going to pine over her and fight valiantly for her love and affection yet again. This means they get to be young and affectionately nerdy and dramatic again. Which means we can finally relate to Spiderman once more, because let's face it--most fellas reading comic books aren't getting married any time soon.

Read more about it here.

Well, the Golden Globes lost a lot of it's hoopla this year because of the writer's strike. The Globes were sans the presentations and announced only through a little press conference. But that doesn't mean some worthy flicks and shows didn't get their hands on some globes of gold. Hopefully some of these winners grew some strike beards. Leave your thoughts on winners and losers in the replies, you fine chaps.
GOLDEN GLOBES 2008 WINNERS

» Best Motion Picture - Drama:
“Atonement”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama:
Julie Christie, “Away From Her”

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama:
Daniel Day- Lewis, “There Will Be Blood”

» Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical:
“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical:
Marion Cotillard - “La Vie en Rose”

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical:
Johnny Depp, “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”

» Best Animated Feature Film:
“Ratatouille”

» Best Foreign Language Film:
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture:
Cate Blanchett, “I’m Not There” (YES!!!!!!!!)

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture:
Javier Bardem, “No Country for Old Men”

» Best Director - Motion Picture:
Julian Schnabel, “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”

» Best Screenplay - Motion Picture:
Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, “No Country for Old Men”

» Best Original Score - Motion Picture:
Dario Marianelli, “Atonement”

» Best Original Song - Motion Picture:
Eddie Vedder, “Guaranteed” from “Into The Wild”

» Best Television Series - Drama:
“Mad Men”

» Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy:
“Extras”

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama:
Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama:
Glenn Close, “Damages”

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy:
David Duchovny, “Californication”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy:
Tina Fey, “30 Rock”

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television:
Jeremy Piven, “Entourage”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television:
Samantha Morton, “Longford”

» Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television:
“Longford”

» Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television:
Jim Broadbent, “Longford”

» Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television:
Queen Latifah, “Life Support”

Some call it "the winter blues." I call it ENTERTAINMENT CATCHUP TIME!

Now that it's finally dropped below 60 degrees this week, we can be reminded that it's January and we're being slowly drug into the harsh biting belly of winter. And you know what that means? It means I stop going to the gym. I cut all social ties. Instead, I bask in the warmth of my bedroom watching DVDs and playing video games while forgetting what it means to interract with others, but make up for it by living the lives of countless others in their much more exciting stories. Don't fight it! Embrace it! Then when spring comes, you can chit chat with your friends about all these neato movies and books and they'll wonder where you get the time to take in all this stuff.

So for this week, here's the top 5 things we'll be scening and hearding here at Scene And Heard HQ quite frequently throughout the rest of winter's frosty days.

5. Rolling Stone, Cover To Cover
It's the digital archive library of Rolling Stone, from the first issue up through last May. Ever'body must get Stoned! This will, no doubt, keep me busy, as I look up random artists and then read up on everything about them that was ever printed in the Stone.

4. Elliott Smith catalog
Other than Mr. Smith, is there a voice out there in the music ether as frost-bitten as it is warm and comforting? No sir! It's beauty that hurts! And if you ask me, that's what winter is all about. So, I'll spend countless hours listening to Figure 8, Either/Or, and last year's New Moon, not being totally sure whether he's melting my ice or freezing my bones, and being totally cool with that.

3. Little Miss Sunshine
You can choose from millions of movies to watch this winter. But are there are any comedies as warm and loveable as this one? Naw, doubt it.

2. Kevin Smith-a-thon
While View Askew is currently filming a new flick starring Seth Rogen called "Zach and Miri Make A Porno" and planning for ANOTHER FILM later this year, things are shaping up quite well for us Smith fans. So what better way to prepare than by brushing up on our Jay And Silent Bob Quotes by running through the View Askew Universe in chronological order? Started watching Clerks last night as matter fact. Jersey Girl not included.

1. Holy Heroes, Batman!-a-thon
It can't be a coincidence that heroes have come roaring back in a big way this decade. We need to be saved in a lot of ways. Music, politics, writers strikes, wars, terror attacks, illegal downloading, school shootings, etc. And as far as comic book nerds go, it seems their entire nerdiverse is being adapted into movies and games. So to prepare for hot anticipations like Iron Man, The Dark Knight, and The Hulk...you can bet I'll be perusing it all. From watching season one of Heroes, to slashing through all the Xmen games as Wolverine on Playstation, to watching all the movies...good and bad. I'll even put myself through Batman & Robin, because what's chillier than The Schwartzenattor as Mr. Freeze?

"Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom."

This week, we can't help but NOT underscore the latest blunder in entertainment news--Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana. It's no wonder she suffers from multiple personality disorder on stage--She's not the only one on stage acting as her Disney personality and self! She got body doubles! This makes lip-syncing primadonas (ala Ashlee Simpson, Milli Vanilli, 50 Cent, Britney Spears) look like credible artists. But I can't blame her. If my dad wrote that "Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart" chorus, I'd feel a lot of pressure on my shoulders to hold up on stage too.

Parents, this is what you get when you shell out hundreds of bucks to take your kids to concerts like this. They use your money to buy look-alikes. Take your kids to some real music shows! Ones that are cheaper and pack way more punch for your buck.




And as an added bonus: Lip-syncing done the way it SHOULD be!

What's the first hot trend of 2008? Duh! The Strike Beard!

So hot, even I joined the ranks!

When the late night shows made their return to the fray last week, Conan O'Brian and David Letterman out-headlined Jay Leno by sporting some beards they had grown on the handful of months they were out of work due to the American Writers Guild strike. Letterman, of course, came back on air with his writing team because they struck a part time deal with his production company, Worldwide Pants. NBC however (and Comedy Central's Colbert Report and Daily Show as well) came back writer-less.

Now why would these guys grow these iconic beards? Unlike your average beard, it has more meaning than proving their testosterone levels. It also represents the solidarity of the writers union. And what symbol holds more power than a BEARD? Nothin.

And as a bit of a writer myself, I felt it necessary to join the ranks of the bearded faces who represent the faceless writers. And now that Letterman has already shaved his off, we need all the support we can get. So join Conan, Abe Lincoln, Billy Gibbons, and I in growing history's proudest beards. Support our writers, you razor-wielding entertainment lover! Put the blade down! And grow that beard out!

And how can you non-facial hair growing females help? You could stop shaving, uh, your legs... but that would be kinda wierd. Or you could buy fake beards and wear em around town. Or atleast, stop watching those bad reality TV shows like Tila Tequila's Shot At Love. That sort of thing does not support writers. It tells TV reps that substanceless programming works.

Why didn't anyone TELL ME another Chuck Palahniuk film was being adapted into a movie!? While I've never felt any of his dark and twisted satires could work nearly as well in film as Fight Club did, I've always wanted to see more of his demented stories turned into sights anyway. Especially since I liked the film version of Fight Club more than the book.

Well, later this summer, "Choke" will make it's way onto the big screen with Sam Rockwell starring as the story's tragic center--Victor Mancini.

If you aren't familiar with the story, Victor is a historical re-enactor by day and a faker at night. He goes to expensive restaurants and forces himself to choke on food to be saved by rich fellow diners who then take him under their wing. At it's heart, its a dark comedy about wanting to be 'saved' and the hunger for attention--which is classic Palahniuk fodder.

Is it destined to find a spot on the cult classic shelf next to "Fight Club"? It doesn't illustrate a generation vs. the enslaving advertising culture like Tyler Durden and Project Mayhem did, but it's got some solid chops of it's own about the relationship between a son and his mother and how it affects him.

For some stills from the movie, here ya are.

Chaplins Music Cafe in Spring City doesn't want me there on Thursdays anymore. But if you're under 21, they totally want you.

Starting tomorrow night, for $6 cover, it's gonna be the new Thursday hangout for youngsters. Every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month will turn Chaplins into "The Under 21 Club." The cool thing is they let the teensters make the fun. From an all-request DJ to karaoke to dancing to watching someone sing to hip hop dance lessons and jam sessions. They even announced something about having magicians on hand. They also say you can expect future theme nights. Plus, they do boast some awesome food. Screw the high school dances!

But if you want to hang out with me. I'll be at a bar, putting coins in the jukebox and writing bad anecdotes on napkins, and continuing my debate on whether Daryl Hall could take Neil Diamond in a steel cage match or not.

It's not a highly guarded government secret that I'm automatically attracted to anything director Michael Gondry touches (ex: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Science of Sleep). I'm already a loaded gun for his latest which hits theaters this month -- "Be Kind, Rewind" starring Jack Black and Mos Def.

But enough about past and present. Gondry recently told MTV about plans for a film which he's currently writing, which he is calling "The Return of The Ice Kings." It's about a boy who invents a kind of water that plays music in your head when you drink it. (which screams of popular 21st century comments about how music has become like water--it's needed and exists in a great quantity, but it's easily accessible and is very recyclable.)

Amazing.

Either the French director has been reading my blog posts about melody roads, or him and I are just quite simply kindred spirits.

The Writers Guild of America Strike has become the new George W. Bush. It's being blamed for everything! Heck, The Golden Globes were just CANCELED because of this ongoing dispute. It's gone on long enough now that we're really starting to feel it's tremors. As far as my television viewing goes, I'm mostly back in business now that The Colbert Report returned last night and Conan O'Brian made his return last week. But there's still a lot of prime beef missing from prime time. Which brings us this week's Top 5--Five reasons this strike needs to end, post haste!

5. I NEED A HERO!
We didn't even get through half of the slated 24 episodes of Heroes. Only 11 were filmed before the strike. All have aired. NBC states we'll still get them eventually, unlike the series finale of Scrubs which may never be aired.

4. DO NOT RESSURRECT SHOWS FROM THE 80's
Chuck has 2 episodes left in it's 13 filmed episodes. And NBC will replace it with their 21st century version of American Gladiators? OMG.

3. MORE THAN 8 HOURS IN A DAY
24's "7th Day" Season will not air until they can air it uninterrupted, although 8 episodes are complete.

2. LOSING LOST?
The infamous 4th season of Lost won't be able to film the 2nd half of it's season.

1. I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO REALITY
What happens when programming dries up? Reality shows. What completely sucks? Reality shows. I rest my case.

For a full list of shows affected by the strike, here ya are.

Guess what horror fans? Freddy's back! According to bloodydisgusting.com, a remake of the classic "Nightmare on Elm Street" has gotten the Hollywood Green Light. They shed no details, but something cool to think about, eh?

And with this on the heals of the Halloween remake this past fall, I wanna know what other classics could use the 21st century revamp? Fletch? Blade Runner? Dirty Harry? Gremlins? Bill & Ted? Saturday Night Fever? Breakfast Club?

Lots of people frown on movie remakes, but I love them. It's like when current bands cover Beatles songs. Of course it isn't gonna have the same magic of the original, but I like looking at proven sights through new windows.

So, what would be cool to remake? And who should star in it, and who should direct it?

I think this video sums up the entire YouTube culture, and exploits the utter sillyness of how a whole mass of net-users feel their online soapboxing and message board comments make them feel important. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you YOUTUBE: THE MUSICAL!



Of course, anyone who feels like commenting on this blog has every right to feel important :)

HEAR: Brendan Benson - Lapalco
SEE: Zodiac (directors cut, available Tuesday)
SAY: I gotta stop being a bum on the weekends. Seriously.

Sure, we've hit the slowest time of the year for music releases...but after being available essentially for free for about 3 months, Radiohead's fantastic "In Rainbows" has wasted no time in running up the iTunes charts as the #2 downloaded album of the week, with no hit single strength.

Now, I don't know what's more depressing--Whether all these people missed their opportunity to spend less on the album and participate in Radiohead's little music biz experiment OR whether these people actually waited this long to hear such a fantastic album. I expected some people to buy the hard copy of the album...but download? I figured the iGeneration had already gotten their hands on the tunes.

The other interesting conversation this week's iTunes album chart raises is soundtracks. What about them you ask? Well they're the big sellers. 5 of the top 10 albums this week are soundtracks to films, including the indie-flavored Juno at #1. To me, that says no one knows what to listen to right now.

But that's a better thing than it sounds. That means lots of listeners are looking for something new.

I have to apologize for not including Black Snake Moan in my top 5 films of 07. I watched it again last night and gave myself a good smacking across the face for it.

And I promise, this has nothing to do with Christini Ricci's lovely part in it. Well maybe a little.. but still, her naughty character aside. It really is more than Ricci tied to a chain, taken prisoner by Jackson. I was really impressed with the story, acting, and of course, the role music plays in re-invigorating the characters. From Jackson digging out his old trusty guitar and getting his groove back, to Ricci finding she has a beautiful song inside herself, it's the sort of tale that reminds me why music fascinates me. It's not just entertainment. It has the power to be a transformative thing.

Plus Jackson did a real good job. I'd dare say it was his best performance since Pulp Fiction. Which isn't much of a surprise considering he had to make up for Snakes On A Plane somehow.

Well 2007 was fun. It gave us Live Earth, the iPhone, and Britney Spears with a Sinead O'Connor haircut. But we got bigger and better things to move on to now, right? Right! Out with the old, in the with new, as they say. Allow me to dedicate this post to persuading you why 2008 will not only be bolder and brighter than last year, but one for the record books.

First off, 2008 is actually considered "The International Year of Planet Earth" by the United Nations General Assembly. As cool as that sounds, all it really means is scientists get more money for research on earth science sort of stuff. But hey, the year got a powerful nickname out of it.

Of course, The UN has ALSO declared it "The International Year of The Potato," so we get some mashed potatoes with our science funds.

It's a leap year!

Bill Gates is expected to step down from daily duties at Microsoft at some point this year.

In November, we'll elect a new president. That's always fun. But without Stephen Colbert on the ballot, I feel I'm at a loss. I also feel cheated by Isaac Asimov who's short story "Franchise" said in 2008, our president would be chosen by a computer program that selects the 'most representative' citizen.

FILM
One can hope the Hollywood writers' strike ends this year, right? Otherwise, we got some sizzling treats already in the oven..

We get the second installment in Christopher Nolan's "Batman Begins" series--The Dark Knight, with Heath Ledger showing his chops as The Joker. I, my friends, am a little too excited.

And the train of comic book-adapted films continues to steam along. We're getting a new revamped "Hulk" movie which is technically a sequel to Ang Lee's disappointing Hulk from 2003. With ED NORTON taking over as the Jekyll-like Bruce Banner. Well that has me excited. June 13, 2008.

Not to mention, Robert Downey Jr. steps in as Iron Man this May.

JJ Abrams mysterious monster movie "Cloverfield" hits theaters this month, as does Stallone's return to the Rambo franchise.

Also hitting theaters this month is Michael Gondry's latest flick, "Be Kind, Rewind." If you didn't know, Gondry has been behind some of the most wonderful films of the past few years. And this one is about Jack Black and Mos-Def re-making movie classics. Gondry will also open up his own video store in NYC where people can make their own movie shorts. Genius marketing, Gondy boy. Hope the Hollywood writers guild doesn't have a whole lot to say about that..

The Matrix's Wachowski Bros will also return this year with their futuristic take on "Speed Racer." Plus Christini Ricci is in it, so...

And Indiana Jones returns with white hair and side kick Shia LaBoeuf in the fourth installment of the George Lucas series after it was high-jacked by wannabes like Nic Cage's National Treasure and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code.

The new M. Night Shymalan flick -- "The Happening" was, of course, filmed around the area here, following suit with his previous flicks. This one stars Mark Wahlberg and is apparently about global warming.

The new Disney/Pixar production slated for this summer, "Wall-E," looks great with a little Johnny 5-like robot attempting to clean up the earth all by himself as the last living thing on it. And he learns love when he gets visited by a foreign robot.

There is a X-Files sequel in the works, as well as a new addition to The Mummy series.

One of my favorite directors Spike Jonze is directing my favorite childhood book, "Where The Wild Things Are" with some screen writing help from one of my favorite writers, Dave Eggers.

Jim Carrey is lending his cartoony voice to Dr. Seuss' "Horton Hears A Hoo"

The new Star Trek, re-booted by hot-writer JJ Abrams should be in theaters come December.

And there is plenty other film reels to look forward to, but those are the ones I'm looking for.


MUSIC
Nostalgic reunions continue to be the biggest news in the music world. Next year, we may get Led Zeppelin tours, Kinks tours, My Bloody Valentine tours...but those are all speculative at this point.

The final spike will be hammered into the old way of buying your music. iTunes will officially have made it when the entire Beatles catalog will be made available on iTunes this year, digitally remastered for the event even.

As far as albums, the new Coldplay and Nada Surf records are what I'm looking forward to most. Nada Surf are always guaranteed good and the new Coldplay is reportedly headed in a Spanish/Cuban direction.

The disbanded Northstar will release an album of leftovers and rarities to help disheartened fans like me cope with the loss.

The mysterious Glassjaw record seems to finally be coming together since weird instrumentals keep popping up on the group's myspace. But... one can only hope.

Green Day are reportedly demoing new material this month.

Oasis want to make a huge huge huge album this year.

We also get some new noise this year from Hot Chip, Jack Johnson, Coldplay, The Offspring, REM, Gnarls Barkley, Weezer, Story of the Year, The Matches, Rise Against, Ace of Base, 311, The Academy Is, Fergie, Aerosmith, Anti Flag, Black Sabbath, a reunited Fenix TX, Taking Back Sunday.


VIDEO GAMES
All I'm worried about is Metal Gear Solid 4.

Although, Ghostbusters 3 seems a little exciting too.


What do you think? 2008 look pretty rad? Did I miss anything that's way too important to miss? Any wild predictions on what we got in store politically? Any big surprises on the horizon? Will we find life on other planets? Invent the HoverBoard? Sound off in the comments folks.